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ash always welcomes the opportunity to engage in a little self-deprecation when the occasion presents itself. And it certainly promotes humility.

This next piece appeared in the State Journal Register Dec. 2005. ash's response follows. 

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George won't understand Cormulley's $5 words
By: Patrick J. Krall, New Berlin

My compliments to ash on her superb writing and vocabulary skills. However, I would like to offer a suggestion.

Because most of the readers do not possess these superb skills, it's very difficult for them to understand the five-dollar words she uses.

For example, I know of a man called George who lives in a large white house in Washington, D.C. He has college degrees from two prestigious universities. This George never reads The State Journal-Register but he fits my example perfectly because he has a problem understanding very basic words, let alone the five-dollar variety.

A good example of George's problem is his understanding of the word no. No, George, there are no WMDs in Iraq. No, George, the Iraqis are not in bed with Osama. No, George, Osama the chief terrorist is not in Iraq; he's in Afghanistan. No, George, Saddam was not involved with 9/11. No, George, you can't cut the country's income and continue to spend as you do; you're bankrupting the country.

I could go on but I'm sure that a person with your superior intellect gets the idea. So the next time you write a letter to The State Journal-Register and have the urge to use a five-dollar word, just say George.

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ash replies:

Touche…uh oh, a French word, change it to kudos, to Mr. Patrick Krall for gently, if sarcastically, excoriating me…um, pointing out, my penchant…correction, tendency, to employ…uh, use, “$5 words” when, presumably…er, let’s get real, people, less high fallutin’…high fallutin’, ones would be just as effective…scratch that, clear.

While I generally disdain…let’s see, refuse, to condescend…no, won’t, lower my level of discourse…correction: language, to reach more readers on the supposition…principle, theory, that meaning is derived from…hmm, correctly guessed through, context…words surrounding the “$5 word,” and that the more precise…uh, exact, the word, the better to convey…bolster…no, make, the argument, Mr. Krall has presented…offered, given, a valid…good, defense…case, of his assertions to the contrary…begging to differ…uh, calling me on my pretentious…unnecessary, big words.

Actually…really, I would prefer that our letters to each other, as opposed to…instead of, addressing the issues per se…themselves, be kept at a minimum…be as few as possible. However…but, when someone criticizes me personally, rather than…instead of, refuting…confining himself to, no, answering, my assessment of …take on, an issue, it’s virtually…almost, impossible not to respond in kind…personally, as well…too.

As for President Bush, the real target… subject, of Mr. Krall’s letter, he can speak for himself. Or attempt…oops, try, to, should he be so inclined… oops again, want to.