ash wrote this “tribute” to her least favorite cultural phenomenon years ago, as it was reaching the peak of its popularity (and her adolescent son played it mercilessly). If she was an “old fogie” then…At any rate, enjoy this apolitical tangent from seriousness.
Now I sure love good music and such
Some I like a little and some I like much
I sure love Jazz with its dissonant chord
And when I listen to it don’t never feel bored
Let’s listen to Folk in the key of G
It tells a story melodically
And Bluegrass is exhilarating
Banjo and guitar integrating
But Rap…is crap
So don’t make me listen to it any more times
It’s not even music, it’s just talking in rhymes
Now let’s hear some Soul and Motown
They just make me want to get down
I love a church choir singing Gospel
Too much of it? That’d be imposs’ble
And Big Band music still is great
That’s ‘cause it always was first rate
The low-down Blues they lift my spirit
But no more Rap – don’t wanna hear it
‘Cause Rap…is crap
Please don’t make me listen to it no more times
‘Cause it’s not music, it’s just talking in rhymes
Well Country with its twangy beat
It tells of love that’s bittersweet
And Reggae’s beat is syncopated
With soft lyrics understated
But Rap…is crap
Let’s hear it for that heavy Rock
It sends my body into shock
You know why they call it Classical
It’s lasted through ages harmonic and full
A symphony or a canticle
But oh that Rap is abominable
Please don’t make me listen to it one more time
Talk is cheap when it comes in a rhyme
You kids I know you think that I’m
Just an old fogie and past my prime
But if listening to Rap is all you do
Then I sure feel sorry for you
‘Cause Rap’s not music though to be sure
It is some kind of literature
So if that Rap is all you’re playing
There’s no music in your lives is what I’m saying
(‘Cause Rap…is crap)
So my Rap’s gone on long enough
Just promise me if you listen to that stuff
You’ll listen to REAL music some of the time
And balance the ridiculous with the sublime